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He used to play for the Red Sox
Now he lays in an ice box
Great American baseball hero
Last over .400, first below zero

Ted Williams, Ted Williams
Did he talk to his chil'n when he was illin'?
Say "Let's change the will 'n I'll live to be a million"

Cold beat Hank Aaron in five more seasons
But then, one day, Sammy Sosa might be freezin'
Could still hit 'em over the Fenway wall
But there's no cryonics in baseball

Ted Williams, Ted Williams
Did he talk to his chil'n when he was illin'?
Say "Let's change the will 'n I'll live to be a million"

They say he remembered every pitch he hit
But if they defrost him, he won't remember... nothing
If this crazy scheme don't work he'll
Spend forever in an Arctic on deck circle.

Ted Williams, Ted Williams
Did he talk to his chil'n when he was illin'?
Say "Let's change the will so you can make a million"

Lou Gehrig died with grace, everyone was awed
But is a legend still a legend if it's froze and thawed?
Don't mine his DNA, give the kid his due
Vaya con Dios, we'll drink a cold one for you

Ted Williams, Ted Williams
He's going to Disneyworld